The Principle of Thought
1. Your thoughts, not your circumstances, determine how you feel. Blaming our unhappiness on our circumstances makes us feel powerless over our lives.
2. We need not constantly be in conflict with those around us. You may have no control over what another person does, but you can be immune to the negative effects of your thinking about that person.
3. It isn’t the circumstances, but our interpretation of them that determines our level of well being.
4. Because our thought systems are filled with our memories of the past (information we have accumulated throughout our lifetimes), they encourage us to continue to see things in the same way.
5. If you understand the nature of thought systems, you can begin to see beyond them and sense the value in other points of view. What we did interpret as criticism we can see merely as an opinion from another person with his/her own thought system.
6. We can virtually eliminate unprofitable arguments in our lives and eliminate feeling resentful,confused, or angry at others who don’t see things our way. When we understand the nature of thought systems, we will not expect others to see things our way.
The Principle of Moods
1. You will always see life and the events in it differently in different moods.
• When you are in a high mood, life looks good.
• In low moods, life looks unbearably serious and hard.
2. For some people mood shifts are slight. For others the shifts are extreme.
3. In our lowest moods we will never see things in perspective.
4. When you are in a low mood, learn to pass it off as simply that: an unavoidable human condition that will pass with time if you leave it alone and avoid giving it too much attention.
5. If you learn to recognize other people’s moods, you will quit judging them when they are in a low mood. Most serious relationship problems turn out to be nothing more than two partners who have made a habit of taking each other’s low moods too seriously. Most partners don’t give each other the space they need in a low mood. When we see the truth in this principle, we won’t be searching for alternative partners to replace the ones we already have. Instead, we will realize that anyone we meet, anywhere in the world, is going to have a fair share of low moods.
2. For some people mood shifts are slight. For others the shifts are extreme.
3. In our lowest moods we will never see things in perspective.
4. When you are in a low mood, learn to pass it off as simply that: an unavoidable human condition that will pass with time if you leave it alone and avoid giving it too much attention.
5. If you learn to recognize other people’s moods, you will quit judging them when they are in a low mood. Most serious relationship problems turn out to be nothing more than two partners who have made a habit of taking each other’s low moods too seriously. Most partners don’t give each other the space they need in a low mood. When we see the truth in this principle, we won’t be searching for alternative partners to replace the ones we already have. Instead, we will realize that anyone we meet, anywhere in the world, is going to have a fair share of low moods.
6. In our low moods we will want to solve our problems and confront other people. However, if you want to have a discussion about something that is bothering you, the time to do it is in a high mood.
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